Written at the beginning of my senior year of high school, this was apparently some sort of self-introduction to the English teach. This is actually a fascinating piece of writing, from my point of view. I have never kept a journal, and this may be the most honest writing about myself that exists from this time period. It is interesting that the three personal faults that I was instructed to choose to write about are still more or less present to this day: addiction to media, poor people skills, and sloth.
The Objective Self
Self-evaluation is necessary in order to evolve mentally and spiritually, as well as recognize one’s strengths and faults. In this process, it is arguably more important to notice one’s weaknesses, as mistakes tend to bring about greater refinement of character by discouraging similar behavior in the future. This is what I have done. I have noted my weaknesses as a person and as a contributing member of society, and have pondered them, not as personality flaws, but as tools with which to mend the undesirable traits that exist within my character.
One of my most nagging weaknesses is my overactive imagination. I am aware that an imagination is, in most cases, an asset, but my imagination has developed into a genuine problem. Growing up without television, as I have, has made me hunger all the more for entertainment. I tend to identify quite strongly with movies and books, so much to the point that at times I will confuse them with reality. I, of course, do not let this be known, for the most part, and the problem has not interfered with my life, but it has made “dents” in my psyche as I have grown to realize that this problem is more or less unique.
I suppose I can attribute my over-identification with fantasy to my entertainment-starved life. I have found that books and movies provide an escape from my somewhat uninteresting life. A few years ago, I discovered that the computer can provide the same result, at a higher cost, but with a higher yield of escape. This too is a weakness. I have found the computer to be a surrogate life. As I attempt to write this from an objective standpoint, I am aware that my love for technology is not healthy, nor is it condoned by good society, but nevertheless, I feel the need to be removed from this world of idiots and lovers and set down in a world of fantasy, adventure, and cheap thrills.
This leads to my most noticeable weakness: my poor interpersonal skills. Since I have found that I prefer to exist outside of the realm of man, my interaction with the “real” word is, to say the least, unsatisfactory. My mother, a psychotherapist and a great humanitarian, has been attempting for several years to reform my apathetic attitudes towards society, and raise a person who is compassionate and sociable, much like herself. So far, she has been unsuccessful. In my heart, I agree with her motives. I do not wish to be a hermit, hiding from human contact, but I believe that my natural adolescent rebelliousness has soured my unconscious mind against my mother’s attempted mental manipulation. This conflict has resulted in my withdraw from emotion, and the implementation of a series of facades used to present myself as a socially-acceptable human being. Without the use of these emotional masks, I would lose all of my friends, whom I cherish dearly, and would lose the spirit of my productivity. Nevertheless, this weakness has been noticed, and I am determined to prevent it from spoiling, not so much my life, as the activities within my life, that I love so much.
In my opinion, my most detrimental weakness, at this point in my life, is my undying laziness. As one can imagine, this makes school quite a challenge, but so far, I have countered this impulse with selfish thoughts of wealth and fame in the future. It is sad when the only cure for laziness is selfishness. Laziness has bred procrastination, and this has caught up with me more times than one. This weakness is one with which I am always battling, but I am confident that the rest of my character will not buckle under the lackadaisical tyranny of laziness.
This paper has allowed me the opportunity to look objectively into my personality and character. One of the strengths that I use to battle my weakness is my power of introspection and self-overhaul, and these processes have been employed once again. I shall remain in control of my weaknesses and intend to do constant battle with them in order to prevent them from infringing upon the productivity of my life.