In the future, men will know their place.

It is July 4th, 2076. The United States of America is losing its shit in raucous celebration of the Tricentennial Jubilee, three hundred years since several white men decided that they had had enough.

Of the many (many) political speeches being made on the Capitol steps this morning, most are variations on the theme of "how far we have come" as a country, especially in the last hundred years, and the penultimate speech by His Majesty the President is no exception. Standing resplendent in his red sash and blue and white top hat, he urges us to remember how lucky we are to live not only in such a great country, but also in such a grand period in our nation's history.

"Our children," he says, "sit at the pinnacle of the great upward-sweeping arc of our societal evolution. For we have achieved what no other country in history has achieved: a gender-conscious, non-discriminatory, universal system for the inclusion of all men and all women in all functions of society, in such a way as to maximize the benefit for everyone, while preserving the freedoms and the truths that are, still, self-evident."

He waves to the crowd. Every one of the two hundred thousand cheering people are men or children with their fathers. This is the only class of people that can be spared from the life-giving work of business and industry.

As His Majesty leaves the podium, he is met by the next and final speaker, the Prime Secretary of the United States. The President, ever the New Vaudevillian, shakes the PS's hand and then pretends to shine his golden badge of office with his handkerchief. The dignitaries on the dais are in stitches.

Today, the badge worn by the Prime Secretary reads "Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation". The PS is also, of course, the head of the Cabinet of the United States, Director of National Intelligence, the director of the Office of Personnel Management, and is commander-in-chief of the United States Armed Forces. But each Prime Secretary is free to interpret which of these is his most important role, and he will wear the badge that best approximates his current strategy for running the country.

His Majesty the President holds no direct power over the operation of the government or the military. His role is to be the soul of the country, to protect and serve the nation's morale and sense of national identity. Once a week, he meets privately with the Prime Secretary who briefs him on the latest issues. The President is free to give advice, and the PS is free to take it. Mostly they just play backgammon.

It is fitting that the entire United States government, political structure, and (the now severely truncated) military are entirely made up of men. These are essentially affairs of competition and destruction, and as we can see from the now famous Wilhelm Model for Contextual Impact, male is the gender best suited for these duties.


In the past hundred years, the role and scope of government has narrowed, gradually and unintentionally, to only those functions which are best benefitted by the masculine frame of mind. And as a result, the gains that women had made in politics since their liberation began to slide backwards.

Cultural historians, however, do not consider this development a net loss for feminism. For when you widen your view to include the culture as a whole, you notice that an equal and opposite trend took place in business and industry at almost the same time. And now we live in a world where four hundred ninety-seven of the Fortune 500 companies have either a female CEO or a feminine majority on the board of directors, and women have just recently achieved the majority on Forbes' "100 Richest People" list.

It has become clear that business and industry are the facets of society that are concerned with creation and persistence renewal, and as a result, professions in those sectors have acquired a feminine stereotype, one that is proudly and actively reinforced by the women themselves.

This is not to say that there are no more men in business. Discrimination is illegal, of course, and it takes all kinds to make the country go round. But each year fewer and fewer men are applying for jobs in the "feminine" sectors, and the bottom lines of American business seem only to be benefitting from this trend.

The fact is that our children learn to fit into the gender roles of the society into which they are born, which for girls means jobs in retail, manufacturing, finance, management, technology, or the service industry, and for boys, government, the military, or politics.

Ah, politics, that grand unholy union of government and high theatre. How lucky for us, the citizens, that the power that used to be held by a sloppy, ill-balanced mix of genders, has been mostly co-opted by businesswomen, who saw what generations of businessmen before them could not see, that a safe, clean, well-fed, and well-housed society is insanely beneficial to company balance sheets.

The early successes of the so-called "civic vigilante" companies of the late 2050s, every one of which was run by women, convinced an increasingly masculine and ineffective Congress that a private, for-profit, female-headed organization is an unstoppable weapon for social change. The creation of the Civic Licensure was the effective turnover of social and civic power to women, and the men in the Capitol went back to waging their wars of bullets and words with other men, serving the important but brittle and simple purpose of shielding the true creators in our society from outside interference.

This Fourth of July, let's raise a glass to this great country of ours and really take a moment to revel in our successes as a people. Only a nation as intelligent and forward-thinking as ours would admit our past misguidance and press boldly into a future where instead of fighting to eradicate our differences, we worked together to find what came naturally to each of us.

God bless America.

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