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My favorite movie recipes - part 1

Sometimes, in a movie, a character eats something completely unremarkable, but they eat it in such a way, or in such a context, that the food seems like the most desirable foodstuff on the planet.

Below are my favorite examples of this. Sometimes it is not the food in particular which is so desirable but rather the method of preparation. So I have provided helpful tips on how to recreate these star-studded gustatory experiences in your own home.

Over the years these techniques have become a dependable part of my kitchen repertoire, as I hope they will be for you.

(No YOU have a problem.)

 

Spiked Apple - Dennis the Menace (1993)


Ingredients:

Give the apple to the child and sit him in a chair. Approach child from over a cliche white picket fence and induce him to hold out the apple. Spear the apple between the child's fingers with the knife and withdraw it. Cut chunks from the apple with the knife and consume them in the most disgusting way possible, one at a time.







 

Captain Kirk Eggs - Star Trek: Generations (1994)


Ingredients:

  • 2 Ktarian eggs

  • 1/2 tsp dill weed


Place a greased skillet over medium heat. Once the skillet is hot, crack the eggs into the pan and whisk briskly. Add the dill and continue whisking until eggs are firm but not brown. Serve on a tray with toast.







 

Luigi Mario Spaghetti - Super Mario Bros. (1993)


Ingredients:

  • 1 plate of spaghetti marinara

  • 1 block parmesan cheese


Grate cheese directly over the plate of spaghetti.

[Growing up in a strict Kraft family, this was the first time I had ever seen this done.]







 

Louisa's Bread Dipped in Louisa's Surprise - Columbo: Murder, a Self Portrait (1989)


Ingredients:

  • 1 fist-sized cube of Italian bread

  • 1 pot cioppino

  • 1 ex-wife

  • 1 wife

  • 1 mistress


Remove lid from cioppino and dip one corner of the bread directly into the pot. Suck cioppino from off the bread while casting your eyes about lecherously. Only then permit others to taste the cioppino, but do not serve them yourself. Warning: do not take cioppino in silence.







 

Chris Farley Grand Slam Breakfast - Almost Heroes (1998)


Ingredients:

  • 1 freshly killed wild boar

  • 1 eagle's egg

  • 1 appetite larger than either your loyalty to a friend or your respect for nature


Cut bacon strips from the boar. Hold a small frying pan over a wood fire and fry the bacon until its juices run clear. Crack egg into the pan and cook until solid. Eat directly from the pan while crying.







 

More to come!

The forgotten life of Mark Twain Senior

New York sloughs off the week