hi.

Running Dialogue

 

MY BODY: Dude, you need to breathe.

ME: What?  I am breathing.

MY BODY: No you’re not.

ME: What do you mean?  I’m inhaling right now, see?

MY BODY: Yeah, I see your mouth open and your lungs filling with something but I need something I can work with here.

ME: What –?  I’m breathing like I always breathe.  What’s the matter with you?

MY BODY: What’s the matter with me?  Are you familiar with how the human body is intended to function?

ME: Well, yes -

MY BODY: Oxygen.  Not just “air”, but oxygenThat’s what we need here if we’re going to continue to work together.

ME: What –? Oxy-

MY BODY: Think back, brainiac.  It’s a two atom-

ME: I know what it is.

MY BODY: I don’t think you do.  If you did, I’d’ve seen more than six molecules of the stuff over the past half mile.  Are you running on the moon or something?

ME: No, I’m running in Brooklyn just like always.

MY BODY: Brooklyn?  In a July heatwave?  That’s the moon.

ME: It’s not the moon!

MY BODY: Go back to the lunar rover, Buzz.

ME: It’s not the moon!  It’s Brooklyn.  Look, that lady’s running!  And there’s a fat guy on a bicycle. 

MY BODY: They’ll be dead in fifteen minutes.  My point stands.  You need to get somewhere with less Steamy Trashy and more Airy Breathey.

ME: No, fuck you.

MY BODY: Ok, smart guy.  You just keep it up.

Ode to Lower Middle Class

Guide to Possible Interpretations of the Chorus of "New York, New York"